The judging eyes,
the judging words,
the judging tone—
childhood molding
Ironically, out of love.

Molded to fit.
Warped to match a world
that cannot accept our true shape.

To avoid rejection.
To keep love.
To be accepted.

We hide what is deemed offensive
so as not to offend,
twisting ourselves smaller,
strangling our own being.

We create little deaths
of self and soul—
aching, breaking, shattering
who we are.

Eventually,
we internalize the watchers and judges.
Learn to see ourselves
through their eyes.

We turn the self
on itself.

We carve self-inflicted scars
into the psyche—
self-censure,
self-denial
self-betrayal,

We gouge out the “unwanted”
distort our own soul
beyond recognition.

But it is only buried.
Not excised.

Life energy wasted to deny
innate needs, wants, desires—
deemed unworthy,
deemed forbidden.

But they lie deep,
eating their way inward
distorting self-perception
when unexpressed.

Until they break through torn scars,
pouring like magma
from our personal hell
where they have smoldered,
burned,
boiled.

Compassion—
where is your voice
for the full self?

Heart—
where is your love
for the full self?

Can we face the ache?
Can we face the risk?

Expose the reality
of our full, secret being?
embrace all that we are?

Open our complete self
to other selves

Wholeness?
Integrity?
Peace?

Originally written: 1/6/26-1/8/2026